Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
