Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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