by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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