I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
