8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
