quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
