dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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