i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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