what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Green mimosas i think yes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
