That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
worst night to have a conscience
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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