This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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