Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
