There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
