I'm going to jail i love you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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