I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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