my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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