those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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