On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize