Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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