Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
