Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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