whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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