Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
