Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
