this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize