Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
