there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
