I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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