the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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