I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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