Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
