Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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