I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If I had your ass I would rule the world
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize