just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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