four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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