i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
