if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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