I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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