i barfeds in our rink
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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