I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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