So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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