dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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