i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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