And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
