called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
