I seem to have left my pride at pride
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
