Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize