did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
