So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
