Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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