I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
