so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
