The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
