I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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