I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
