Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
