The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
