no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
