the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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