I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
