I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you're hired as official boob wrangler
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
