I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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