You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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