She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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