Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
