Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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