Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
