For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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