sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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