Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize