hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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