I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
